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So mother left Nam for a month, I partied hard for the first weekend, and then decided that the party scene didn’t suit me. Henceforth, I didn’t go out so often anymore.
After numerous planning, Rocky and I decide to make a weekend trip to Cape Town. So he said he’ll book the tickets, he did, but had to change the dates, because my VISA wasn’t out yet. Had to run left/right/and center for that VISA, in the end, Mario got it for me. Sweet guy, told the officers I was his girlfriend and needed the VISA ASAP, so it came out on Friday, the day we were departing for SA at 18:50.
I told Rocky to pick me up at 17:00, so we won’t be late for the flight, you know what time he came? He arrived at 17:40. I was ready to be barred from boarding. We arrive at the airport late, we park the car and run for the check-in, it was closed. Just like I expected. Except the guy behind the counter was Angolan, he understood and let us through (how nice of him), and then Rocky forgets his books in the car, so he runs back to the car while I fill in the departure forms, he runs back, we rush past the metal detectors and past the boarding gates, only to be confronted by angry, extremely angry air-hostesses that told us we went through the wrong boarding gate. So we were the last 2 people to board the plane, the looks we got…tsk tsk tsk.
We sit down on our seats, and Rocky’s like “Fuck…” and I go “okay, what did you forget now?”… Turns out he forgot his wallet and money. I’m like it’s okay, I’ve got enough to cover for the both of us. Hmmm then he wanted me to ask the plane to postpone a bit so we could get the wallet. I’m like, okay, then go ask, he looks at me, and says PLEEEEEEASE ask for me … I mean WTF? Your wallet, Your money, and I have to ask for it?! Dude. Seriously. Anyways, I tolerate this and went up to the crew infront to ask whether it would be possible to delay a bit more due to the fact that we left out money in the car. The crew was so nice, they really wanted to help, but it was up to the pilot to decide they said. In the end, the pilot said no, they delayed enough as it is.
Fine, I get back to the seat, and sit, we take-off, up in the air I ask Rocky, did he call the car hire service? He looks at me with the blankest expression. And I told him, this is the first and last time I’ll ever ever travel with him.
We arrive at CT Airport, and took an airport taxi back to his dad’s house in Sunset Beach, gosh, I was tired enough as it is.
All in all, the sex was good. But other than that, we had various disagreements… but were too polite to fight it to the end, or to bring the point to justice.
We came back on Monday, and on Tuesday, I packed everything of his that came back with my luggage, and on Wednesday morning I brought it to him. He wanted to know what was wrong. I didn’t tell him. I refused to give him a proper answer. And I broke it off with him. He begged, cried, and asked why I was doing this to ‘us’. There was no guilt tripping there with what I was going through. I was filled with hatred, passion, urge to break.
Why did I break it off with him? Because of what happened earlier on that Wednesday morning. I met Brigitte, a friend of mine from law class, that dated Rocky, I saw her and told her we were dating, and she asked “So you got rid of Beverly?” I was shocked into silence. I didn’t know that Beverly and Rocky were inseparable. Or that the “B” Rocky constantly wears around his neck stood for “Beverly” and that the “R” around Beverly’s neck obviously stood for him. And the sickest part is… the VW GTI Rocky drives is actually Beverly’s. How sick is that. And that Rocky introduced Brigitte to his family as the ‘wife’, exactly the way he introduced me to his family.
And now that I think back, there were so many signs, so many warnings, I chose to ignore it all… How naive of me. Ignorance isn’t bliss. Look how I had to find out everything. Look how sick this is. Beverly may tolerate his every move, but I can’t do that. Maybe that’s why they’re inseparable. He knows he can always go back to her, no matter what he does. And she just turns a blind eye to everything.
This is undeniably the sickest fling I’ve ever had. S-I-C-K and disgusting and wrong in all manners capable of being wrong.
I wake up every morning, and he’s the first person I think of, and you know what goes through my mind? I want to kill him. This uncontrollable rage pounds through my body, and I have this urge to hurt him, to have my vengeance. How sad to think that this is what it has been like for me, for the past two weeks.
I cry and weep with sorrow every night, wondering how I ended up in this situation. Wondering how this is possible… I need a vacation, maybe to breathe a bit more. Think clearly. Detach myself from the mass, and clear my conscience.
