Heartache II
So my periods arrive successfully, Im happy to announce that this is day 5 of my cycle. I miss Rocky exceptionally, there’s nothing I can do to contact him… maybe he’s not even in the country anymore. What makes me angrier is the fact that seeing him, thinking about him, hearing about him has this heart-throbbing effect. I hate being this weak. But I would of liked to share the unhappy news with Rocky that my X, JiaFan has now successfully found a fiancé, whom he intends to marry soon if everything goes well. His mom apparently found her for him. Touche. This a rebound r/ship he’s having? I can only imagine how it’ll turn out.
(He jst called now, told me that there’s atleast 2 weeks to consider my options before his fiance comes over, who the fuck, and what the fuck, and where the fuck does it concern me. What the fuck is he implying. Why the fuck should I re-consider my options, there’s no where in hell Im going back to that tormenting r/ship of mind control and sick obsession and fucking jealousy. Fuck you JiaFan, you and I’ve both ruined each others’ lives enough to hold out for centuries, so leave what’s left of nothing alone. No more. No less. Enough is enough).
I went out on Saturday, when mom had to go to work. I got out of bed at 9 in the morning (very proud of myself for being able to wake up so late for once), put on presentable clothing, and went to see John at Wernhilpark, he was so busy I didn’t get to speak to him. So I went to Peter at Centaurus High School, they were having this LAN battle, had to go and say hi cos I felt bad about cancelling our appointment the day prior. After chatting about pleasantries and what-nots I left to go see Francois. We watched a couple of funny videos with Chris and Simone, then Simone had to leave to go back to the farm, and Chris was playing World of Warcraft or something like that, so it was jst Francois and I left on the bed facing the pc. He hugged me. And I felt comforted by his tender acts of care… It has been a while since anyone has gone that slow on anything, and I appreciate it. Being with him isn’t about lust or want or desires anymore, more about companionship? For me it’s like that, I’m not sure what it’s like for Francois though… I don’t want to mess anything up right now… What we have is unique. To be looked after. Or maybe Im talking crap because I have so much to deal with.
